Breaking Free from Approval Addiction

We all want to be seen. We all want to be valued. And that’s not a bad thing in itself—it’s human. But problems begin when your sense of worth depends on someone else's opinion of you.

When you start chasing likes, approval, applause—when you start tailoring your personality to fit what others want—you lose something precious: yourself.

Before we can ever truly break free from approval addiction, we must first pause and examine that part of ourselves that wants approval so badly. Sit with it. Ask yourself: Where is this need coming from? What is at the root of this feeling?

Often, the need for approval stems from a deeper wound — a fear of rejection, a past experience of not feeling "enough," or a misunderstanding of your own inherent worth. To overcome approval addiction, you must begin the work of learning how to approve of yourself. Ask: What activities, conversations, or dreams make me feel the most alive? What are you doing when you feel proudest of yourself, when you can say with conviction, "I approve of me, and that's enough"?

When we seek constant validation from others, it can lead to chronic anxiety. You get caught up in a cycle of “What can I do to make this person happy?” But here's a hard truth: some people will never be pleased — no matter how much you contort yourself. And more importantly, it is not your assignment to please them.

Say this aloud if you must:"It is not my assignment to get anyone's approval but my Creator's."If someone didn't create you, you don't need their permission to shine.

Seeking validation can also lead to burnout. When your nights are restless and your days are filled with anxiety over how you’re perceived, you rob yourself of peace. You might find yourself walking the floors at night, overthinking how to make your dreams more "acceptable" to someone else. But your purpose was never meant to be "palatable" — it was meant to be powerful.

People-pleasing becomes a dangerous habit in this cycle, and it can drag you into inauthentic relationships. When you base your value on the approval of others, you begin to twist and contort yourself into shapes that don't reflect who you truly are. Authentic relationships require authenticity — and you can't be authentic while constantly performing for acceptance. Here’s the truth: You are enough exactly as you are.You are one of one.You are a masterpiece.

Even if nobody else recognizes your worth, you must. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.You were created intentionally, crafted with a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. Your light doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s light.

Think about it: there are many kinds of light bulbs — different sizes, different shapes, different wattages — but light is still light. Whether it's a soft glow for a romantic dinner or a bright beam for working in a dark corner, each light serves its purpose. Your light is your own, and it is just as important as anyone else's.

So shine — even if your shine looks different. Maybe you sparkle like a diamond, or maybe you glow like an amethyst. No matter what, you are a precious jewel, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Respect the worth of the jewel that you are.And remember: You cannot honor your true worth while letting others define it for you!